All the previous trips to Whistler, 4 weeks in total, I have had 1 day of rain in that time. Its also been super hot and dry shred conditions all round. As such, the day 5 conditions were unusual to me… But given the need for a break, not totally hated on. However, we wanted to awake to a dry day 6 to get our freak back on in a big way. The forecast and skies we woke up to had other ideas:



Still, is not fucking raining until its fucking raining, so we set off for another day, with a lick it and see approach, you never know how its going to roll. In particular, would we shake off our hang over and return to pissing excellence? Or would the mini slump take hold and drown us with fatigue? Only one way to find out…

Fair to say it was COLD though, I’m talking pass me my fucking icebreaker base layer cold YO! As such, a warm up lap was very much in order, unfortunately I was still a bit frosty when I didn’t quite nail the photo jump down the bottom, at least my racey red TLD gloves make it easier to find my photos:


Dok goes bigger… But no one goes bigger than MOTO man…

Yes, we learnt something very interesting about Matt (quickly renamed Moto man) today, he grew up doing Moto cross, so was loving the flow trails and in particular the jumps… Watch this space, but FUCK he can jump… Like in a way that puts us 90’s downhillers to shame. I am absolutely guilty of reverting to getting down the mountain as fast as possible, squashing and scrubbing as I go, or railing into Tech with aplomb:


Red mitts are blowing out my epic camo action…

It was cold… It was misty… It was a little damp, BUT, we had some major advantages: No lift queue and its fair to say that in most parts, we had excellent traction. The boys reflected on how to shape the day up:


Cold, but it was about to heat up

Dok wanted some wet rock (apparently the best kind) for morning tea, so we went off to check out some new black trails, as you do… Where we got to scope his rear wheel ass buzzing moves down Lower Whistler Downhill. Oddly, steep high speed rock rolls are infinitely easier this year than last, thank you Carbon Demo:


“Fuck cunt, if the tire doesn’t buzz ya, you’re not going large enough”

Still, it was time for a break from Tech action and instead, run some A-Line laps. Yes, probably the most famous trail in the park, if not in the world, we sized up that conditions were just right (minimal volume of super rad shredders to pursue us) to hit it back to back and start to get our jump freak tuned up. With non stop launch action, this was the place to do it. Cue MOTO man to give us some hot shit video footage and jump class from top to bottom. Allow me to elaborate with this dirty sequence…

From the top, Moto man is already launching into it:


Not a big fan of Tech runs… But let him FLY…

Tabletops? Feed them to Moto man like they’re marshmallow chocolate on a stick:


Clear it, with a cheeky whip thrown in…

Lower sections? No problems… Moto man keeps whipping that shit GOOD… Oh yeah, whip it, whip it good:


Moto man loves a front end pull for sure

He’s insatiable… May not be hugely pumped on gnar technical lines, but he was proposing marriage to A-Line after the first date:



I finally managed to catch up with him for some close in GO PRO action, which didn’t do anything to dampen his one man Jumpmania:


When I grow up, I want to air like Moto man

Live by the rad, go down by the rad… Unfortunately Moto man suffered the only man down moment of the day, his second, pushing through the rad barrier down Lower Blue Velvet, good thing he selected the cheap jacket after all it seems:


Smashed chassis, broken rear D cable, scratched helmet… Who gives a fuck, lets A-Line it again boys

Its also worth noting at this point that as soon as it got a little wet, Moto man’s flaps got loose as fuck, we had a quiet word about appropriateness of course:


Hold it together man!

Did I mention in amongst all this hot shredding action it was a little cold? The source? Perhaps the 25cm’s of fresh snow that had popped in overnight up past Garbo… Yip, a mid summer dusting from mother fucking nature to remind us who owned this place:


Yip… We got the right day to do Top of the World…

Yes, after a morning of sweet A-Line action and a jumpathon the likes you don’t see very often, it was time to get back up to Garbo and get mega sketchy on some wet tech love. The boys were pumped, well, Dok more than Motoman, Herr Doktor showing a penchant for Technical gnar, wet rock and all:


Time for more Garbonating

I wanted to try a new approach into lower No Joke, which was to hold mad speed off the road into the first tech section… It was awesome for the first part, until I worked out I had too much speed to actually turn the Dirty Demo, for an advance preview for the video, here is a massive save, just managing to pull up before joining those logs:


Not the best line to fuck up…

As crisp as it was (fucking cold if you stood around making the boys wait while you took photos under the guise of being an amateur journo), the views were pretty awe inspiring, especially with the low cloud making a guest appearance for some of the runs:


I think I will build my log cabin right around here… With proper insulation…

And then before we knew it, we had another 4,200m of golden DH action BANKED and were totally fingered… 8 laps of Fitz and two complete top to bottom runs, a fucking solid day and an excellent way for Moto man to finish up for his Shredpocalypse action. Alas, it was his last day and he will be missed, especially for his media pleasing jumping whip action:


These fuckers deserve a COLD ONE!

But, it wouldn’t be a BIG day without some quality Celeb stalking and just before dinner I bagged another big fish, this time none other than Freeride legend and golden mofo, Brett Tippie! How did he respond to my Dirty Celeb stalking action? Well, for once my target struck back! This may teach me…


Quote: “Fuck, you must ride road bikes or something”

And on that revelation, Yes, that’s it for day 6 and time for the daily essentials:

1. Trail of the day – ‘A-line’. No question, we hit it countless times and it was on fire. Running smooth, fast and we all managed to hit jumps better than ever, so it was an all round massive win. No one could quite manage to match Moto man, the learning is simple: Get your kids a Moto cross bike ASAP.

2. Gear of the day – DEMO 8 Carbon (default award). The Marsh Guard. Yes, a simple piece of plastic amongst a shit load of technology and shredding goodness, but it did one essential job: Kept shit out of our faces and off the googles, so a massive win. Critical piece of kit when it gets sloppy here.

3. “What did the Dok say” (sing it) – “Fuck, I think I really do need that Ohlins shock…”

4. The Wolf void – To make sure no one misses out, in this daily essential we hypothesis what it would have looked like today if Das Wolf had joined his gravity brothers:


“Wolf, ready to drop in on this action? Wolf? Wolf?”

2 Responses

  1. Beau White

    Hey, just returned from whistler after completing the bcbr. I am super crap at taking pics and documenting tours so this blog or whatever you call this thing of yours is a lifesaver. Love your humor dude! I hope you don’t own that specialized bike, cocks ride specialized, my trip to canada confirmed this, I thought it was just here in South Africa but it’s universal it seems.

    I found your blog thing while researching to buy a new nomad/jekyll, I am now
    the proud owner of a pink and baby blue shred machine that did the bcbr and then smashed many of the runs you mentioned.

    Sell that cock donkey and buy a blue and pink proper bike.

    Love your work! Keep it up cunt!

    P.s. Chicks dig the pink bike, the Matt black old jekyll 26″ has never extracted a single compliment but the Barbie bike gets at least 5 a day!

    • dirtynomad

      Fucking oath mate, I’ve already ordered my Nomadness in hot shit blue and pink and it’s on the way… Glad you’re liking the DN action, respect on BCBR, I’ve heard it’s gold


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