Let’s dive face first into the RIMming this week by hitting the perfect intro of surfing the Porcupine Rim. Relax animal protection groups, no funky shit here, just some mental shredding. Given the lemming reposting of video on the net its not often I feel motivated to join the herd, but this one really does stand out for a number of reasons:
- The trail and scenery are fucking mindblowing
- These dudes are pinned
- The footage shot using a Gimbal with a chesty is actually… Wait for it… Next level:
Continuing that good old RIM theme, if that wasn’t out there enough for you and perhaps you like a bit of exposure, then get amongst this… Personally, yeah, it can super get fucked, but it seems to work for these guys. Check the part where he stalls out, yeah, that’s pretty much a vert freefall down from there to an obvious conclusion:
If that video doesn’t legitimise Garmin stem mounting, then nothing will. Let’s move from squeamish to stylish in one Italian swoop shall we?
The Giro… Fuck its been going off! Its had pretty much everything we could have hoped for in May – Ambushes, questionable Italians winning stages and crying, the Pink being passed around a bit, cunted weather here and there, Tommy D giving it to the GC contenders momentarily, Gravel climbs and the awkward as fuck jersey presentation Models matched nicely by the equally as weird Eurosport Giro aftermatch show.
Phew… I’m wet just recapping it all. Yes, its been as beautiful as it has been phallic. The racing has been good too. Thanks Italy.
Cupping the base with relaxed ease, the kind of form we expect
The first week was like hanging out in a Polish border town in 1939 – It didn’t seem to matter for German Bieber or the Gorilla if they went early or left it late on the Blitzkrieg. Essentially if you weren’t a German sprinter last week then you were getting 4 to 5 Sauosages slapped in your face quicker than you could hide under the glass coffee table.
I mean fuck, did you see the stage 7 finish when Orica’s new Robbie McEwan mini me got schooled massively in the big leagues… Holy shit, it was so brutal by the gorilla that I didn’t know where to look – Pretty much the theme of the week…
“Ah… My GF plays volleyball ja, so I don’t really know what to do with my eyes with this scenario… I feel so warm”
Speaking of struggling with lumpy sections, I had hoped that Tommy D would stay in the Pink for a bit longer, but he was brutally undone by perhaps one of the most suspect group of GC contenders you’re likely to see assembled… Nibbles may not be carpooling in this Grand Tour, but once you throw in a Russian, Valvpiti and the ex-domestique now considered a contender in Landa and you have the plot line for a sequel to ‘The Usual Suspects’. Bring on the second week!
Got an unreasonable amount of cash to blast up the ass of a single track rocket? Well, if you belong to the 0.00034% of the human race that does, then its your lucky month as Santa Cruz has released this sweet Chris King 40th anniversary collab edition of the 5010. In a non-science approved drab olive green, it comes laden with all the top end shit that CK rolls out, only 50 in the world from memory and a few have turned up in the #cHub (as you’d expect, we got 99 problems by the concentration of millionaire’s ain’t one). Porn in a box:
The price of exclusivity… And irrationality
While I won’t be partaking, watching this space for an exciting new project that is in the mix… Frothing has commenced.
New arrivals – Thanks to the crew at ReEvolution cycles I am rocking a new set of these e13 TRSR Race tires, replete with ENDURO as fuck tread, casing and everything else you need for getting a full froth on… Including the worlds longest valve extender. Weird:
Yes, things have chubbed up on the side in a big way
I would love to say I will be shredding them on a few shuttle runs in the next few weeks, but alas I will have to plan something slightly more medium term to be able to comment on these new slippers. Basically made by the parent company of Maxxis as far as I can glean, I am looking forward to seeing what they can do and how they compare to the WTB Break out they’ve replaced. Watch this space.
On the topic of new arrivals, FINALLY a #DNglobalcollective member has deployed the new Santa Cruz Hightower into the wild and as expected, it was our PROcurement Officer and Early Adopting specialist, Das Wolf. Seen here taking a break from the maiden voyage to piss on trees:
Back in the game #newbikedayisbackbitches
The whole DW scenario will be putting the Hightower through its paces at Mountain Creek, committing to us that he is going to make sure Richie Rude gets sent some “Uh oh” e-mails as the Wolf shreds the mountain down. We’re currently taking bets on whether or not he can resist the Plus cuntery conversion, so send me your wager off-line. Watch this space…
I was going to say its a sombre end to the random update this week, but its actually just straight up sad as fuck to be honest. 2016 took another step towards winning the COTY title itself with the tragic news of the passing of former World Cup DH champ and legend at only 26, Steve Smith.
If you remember watching the movie ‘Seasons’ from 2008, you may have thought that seeing Steve Smith for the first time he was just another teenager who was fully pinned and lucky enough to ride with Steve Peat in Whistler for a bit. But clearly he was destined for greatness, making him one of the elite few that made the journey from being shuttled by his mum in that now famous clip, to the top of the sport. This tribute video says it all really:
If that doesn’t get the emotion going, then this amazing photo tribute from Sven Martin will make you appreciate your day just that much more. Sven obviously knew Steve better than most, so this has a lot of meaning behind it:
RIP Steve Smith.
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