Yikes… It occurred to me the other day that the ENTIRE Vuelta went by and I didn’t say a fucking word about it! No post, no mention, not even a fucking pic! WTF? Its not that I was hating on the Vuelta, in fact, it was a massive highlight of last year. I think it was more the combo of a major preoccupation with shredding and ultimately, not really wanting any of the main contenders to win.

Yeah… Picking between Froome, Cuntador and “That’s not my fucking dog” Valverde is a bit like shopping for a Machine Washable suit, no matter which one you pick its still gonna be shithouse. I was sort of hoping the Columbian midget would double up and give Campagnolo a clean sweep of the Grand Tours for the year, but that went sideways quicker than you can say “I probably wouldn’t adjust my shoe heading into the apex of a nasty corner“. So in the end, with one of 3 questionable units going to take it home, coupled with late TV coverage, it ended up on the back burner.

No such issue with the Road World Champs though! No, we have some clear favourites here… Lets forget the Team Time Trial champs, that was won by some guys riding Swiss Avanti’s, no, lets focus on the real prizes coming up in the week ahead in Spain.

TT World Champs

Have a read of these numbers from Tony Martin’s Worlds win last year, individually and then consider them holistically (that sounds like a fucking work meeting FFS). I have no idea how Tony Martin puts those numbers out, but faaaaaark he does. I suspect if I was running a 58T chain ring, my cadence would be 74 and not 94. The other numbers simply fuck up your brain. If you’re not a cyclist, then this pic & information is like me telling you I’m about to perform emergency haemorrhoid treatment on you with a spoon in Russian, fairly painful & meaningless:


I can do those numbers… In complete isolation of each other… Or sequentially

Actually about all that Tony and I have in common is our weight. Lets not compare height. Yes, I suspect Ze Panzer is going to deploy the German probe tomorrow, maybe Wiggo will get close, but I think Tony will take a giant dump on him in the end. With moves like this, its hard to argue with his ability to maximise on the Aero front:

Suspect the only thing that could stop him is a Zipp failure...

Suspect the only thing that could stop him is a Zipp failure…

TT kicks off tomorrow night, so watch this space… We’re clearly calling Tony FTW.

Road World Champs

Sunday is the day… And this shall be brief. There is only ONE person that gets the Dirty seal of approval to take home the rainbow jersey. This guy (ignore the Trek):


I am Spartacus etc etc

Yes, the Rainbow jersey is perhaps the only glaring omission from Cancellara’s palmares, so its a wrong that has to be put right this weekend. Is he up for it? Well, he’s skipping the TT to be in the best condition possible to outlast the others, so it appears the focus is there. Fuuuuuck I hope he does it and we avoid the pain of having some cock in the Rainbow jersey for 12 months (see the outcome of the DH World Champs for such a scenario).

Finally today… Not quite the World Champs of Enduro, but basically should be… Yes, its late September so that can only mean one thing again, you know it, Trans Provence 2014. Its well documented that this was one of the greatest weeks ever on a bike, but that was doing it the slightly palatial way (no fucking tents). Still, who cares about tents when you’re in the Maritime Alps and you are amongst this:


Once upon a time…

Ah… Yeah… Don’t think for a second that I am not self loathing on a 24/7 shift basis for not being there and soaking this up. Clearly there is no Matrix, PowerPoint or cunts in this location:


Apparently meetings can fuck off…

Yeah… Just watch this and one can relate to what is UP:

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